


and if you get to heaven, i'll be here waiting

by livtontea



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Light Angst, No Incest, Non-explicit character death, Not Beta Read, That's it, ben is dead but i dont get into it is what im saying, ben is tied to his body which is buried in the courtyard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26035852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livtontea/pseuds/livtontea
Summary: “Come on, Ben. Let’s get out of here.”He wants to say yes. He’s wanted to say yes since Klaus offered.“I can’t.”
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 15
Kudos: 92





	and if you get to heaven, i'll be here waiting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Whatisthiswhatamidoing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whatisthiswhatamidoing/gifts).



> this is a quick thing i wrote based off an au gabe thought of after reading my previous fic ksjdfds uhhhh i talk about corpses in this so!! exert caution? i kinda gave up towards the end but enjoy uwu
> 
> title from dead! by mcr

“It doesn’t even look like me.”

“Hah.” Klaus takes a drag. “I know, right? Sculpted that dumb fucking face of yours and couldn’t even get it right.”

“Hey,” says Ben, chiding without heat. “My face is fine.”

“Not metalhead’s over here—I mean, look at that bullshit! You think they were going for _soulful_ or didn’t even bother trying anything other than _constipated?”_

“Have some respect for the dead.”

“Respect goes both ways, Benny—I’ll respect them when they respect me.”

He crouches down and snuffs out his cigarette right under the plaque. _May the darkness within you find peace in the light_ —and then a very attractive ash stain.

“Come on, Ben. Let’s get out of here.”

Ben shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. He wants to. By god, does he want to. Getting out and free of this place has been his dream since… always. He remembers sitting at the breakfast table, short enough his feet still dangled about the floor, and dreaming about the world outside the too big mansion with too many bad things hiding in it.

He wants to say yes. He’s wanted to say yes since Klaus offered—or rather, burst into his room where Ben was hovering and announced, _Ben, we’re leaving._ He’d cracked a joke about making haste to pack his bags. Ben fell through the wall.

Funny how all he had to do to get a taste of freedom was die.

Or, that’s how it should have been. Instead of saying yes, let’s go, lead the way, Ben takes a step closer to where he’s buried.

“I can’t.”

“The fuck do you mean, you can’t? Come on, Ben. Time’s—” Klaus sighs, deep and dark and empty “—a-wasting.”

“No, I can’t. Go without me.”

“Ben, you’re dead. Now really isn’t the time to be having second thoughts.”

“That’s not it, asshole,” bites out Ben. He’s standing over his body. He must be half-decayed by now, right? How long does it take for a body to rot, when you didn’t have much of a body left to begin with? “I can’t.”

“Why the _fuck_ not! I’m not letting you ruin this for me.”

“Then _go!_ I’m not _asking_ you to stay with me, Klaus. Go! Get your real-world experience, without me.”

Klaus presses his lips together in that tell-tale way he tends to do. Ben knows if he didn’t, his bottom lip would be wobbling.

“Fuck you,” Klaus spits. “I thought we were a fucking team.”

“We are, Klaus. But… I can’t.”

“Whatever.” Klaus waves him away, already turning around. He gives the statue a kick with his heel. “I don’t need you anyway. See you next time someone kicks the bucket. Have fun being alone.”

Ben curls his fingers into fists. His nails dig into his palms and he doesn’t feel them. He knows Klaus is just saying that to be a dick. Just saying it because he’s hurting, because he’s right—they _are_ a team, they’re supposed to be one, and they have been since Ben…

He kicks at a clump of grass. His head should be somewhere here-ish.

It hurts. It hurts like hell, because Klaus is _right._

Ben is alone.

_

It so happens that Ben does _not_ go insane without Klaus around to keep him company. He can’t leave the grounds. Just, physically can’t. It’s stupid because he _isn’t_ physical, not anymore, but he can only drift so far away from where he’s buried.

There are other ghosts. Screamers. Watchers. He hasn’t found any like him. He doesn’t try to talk to them anymore.

Ben doesn’t know why, but he… ages. He looks down one day and realizes he doesn’t look like a teenager anymore. He looks… grown. Adult. If he tilts his hands under the light at just the right angle, he almost looks alive.

Almost.

He likes to talk to—at Mom. At first he talked at the others, but then the others left. Mom is stable. Constant. She cooks, and she cleans, and it’s easy to keep track of where she is in the house. Sometimes he listens to Dad and Pogo talk.

He learns things. Things that only someone like Reginald Hargreeves would come up with.

The next time he sees Klaus is at Dad’s funeral.

_

Klaus immediately steals something, but Ben can’t even bring himself to care, because he looks— _bad._ Klaus looks like death warmed over, and that’s coming from Ben, the _literal_ dead guy.

He doesn’t approach him. Can’t. Except this time, it isn’t some kind of law of death, it’s just… cowardice. Ben is a coward, this time.

He watches them talk. Luther accuses them of murder, Klaus cracks a joke about going to kill Mom, and Ben remains a vague figure in the corner. He shoves his hands deep into his pockets and doesn’t find Klaus when Tiffany starts playing. Instead, he watches Allison in her room. Luther in his. Vanya on the stairwell, Diego in the living room.

Nobody ever taught Ben how to dance. He tries to anyway.

And then chaos erupts. Or rather, explodes in streaks of blue and thundering footsteps rushing to the courtyard. Ben feels the pull in his gut ease as he steps closer to his statue and body.

And then there’s Five.

It would be so easy to walk up to Klaus and tap him on the shoulder. It would be so easy to make a smart remark when Luther or Diego pull some dumb shit. He could talk to someone and for the first time in _so, so long_ , have the answer.

Ben watches Five devour a sandwich. Silently.

_

Oh, the funeral. It’s even better than Ben’s own, on a scale of family drama. Luther and Diego fight, honest to god try to beat the shit out of each other, and instead behead one of the last physical reminders Ben has of his appearance.

“Ooh.” He winces. That had to hurt. Even Luther and his thick skin. (Does he really think the coat is fooling anyone? Nobody has pointed anything out yet, so, maybe it is.)

“Hit him!” yells Klaus, and Ben allows himself one eyeroll.

Diego does hit Luther—in the arm, with a knife.

“Touching.”

Ben watches Klaus stamp out his cigarette in Dad’s ashes. He snorts. History repeats itself, it seems.

Klaus looks up and meets his eyes.

“Oh, shit,” he whispers. He straightens slowly, not taking his eyes off Ben. Ben leans back and gives the base of his statue a good kick.

“It doesn’t even look like me,” he says. “Right?”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! lmk if i missed tagging anything, my tumblr is @zontiky, and any and all comments are appreciated! <3


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